
If you want to sound like a golfer, you need to learn the lingo. Golf has a rich and varied history, with its roots in Scotland in the early 1500s. With the game's popularity, a unique language has evolved with terms like Army golf for inconsistent players, cabbage for the worst rough, and ham and egg for a well-paired team. Sally Cook and Ross MacDonald's book, How to Speak Golf, is a great resource for golfers and fans alike, offering a blend of humour, history, and trivia to help you master the language of the greens.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Hitting the ball inconsistently from one side of the fairway to the other | Army golf |
| The worst of the rough | Cabbage (also known as Spinach or Lettuce) |
| Two players on a team pairing well, with one player excelling whenever the other falters | Ham and egg |
| Slow greens where it seems like the ball sticks to the grass | Velcro |
| A golf course in poor condition | Goat track |
| Reverse spinning of the ball causing it to slow down or roll back | Juice, Junk, English |
| Purposely playing or aiming away from hazards or bunkers | No need to post a bond |
| A flat, dime-sized object that marks the position of the ball on the green | -- |
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What You'll Learn

Army golf: inconsistent hitting from one side of the fairway to the other
If you want to sound like a golfer, you need to master the lingo. For instance, did you know that "Army golf" refers to inconsistent hitting from one side of the fairway to the other? Think of it like this: left, right, left.
Now, if you want to avoid playing like you're doing an Army golf drill, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, don't try to "crush" the ball. It's a common fault when hitting long fairway irons or woods, but it often leads to swinging too hard and missing the centre of the club. Instead, focus on hitting the club consistently on the sweet spot with a slower, smoother swing. This will give you more length and accuracy.
Another thing to consider is the height of your swing. If your swing is too low, the club head will dig into the turf and won't transfer enough energy to the ball. On the other hand, if your swing is too high, the ball won't get a good launch. To find the right height, try an alignment stick drill. Hold an alignment stick like a golf club, angling it behind you so it stays low to the ground. Then, slowly drag it along the ground, feeling the correct motion of your hands and arms leading the club.
Additionally, make sure you're using the right equipment. For instance, if you're having trouble with fairway woods, you might want to switch to a hybrid club. Or, if you're struggling with long irons, consider trying out hybrids instead.
Finally, don't be afraid to seek professional help. A golf coach can analyse your swing and provide personalised advice to improve your consistency. They can also help you with any grip or stance issues that may be contributing to your inconsistent hitting.
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Cabbage: the worst rough
Golf has a language all of its own, and if you want to sound like a golfer, there are some key terms you should know. One of the most important is "cabbage," which refers to the worst type of rough on a golf course. This treacherous terrain can ruin your game and is sometimes also called "spinach" or "lettuce"—but whatever the name, it's a salad you want to avoid.
Cabbage is the thick, unruly grass that can be a real hazard for golfers. It's the opposite of the well-manicured fairways and greens that golfers prefer. When your ball lands in the cabbage, it can be hard to find, let alone hit with any accuracy. The rough can be so dense that it's like a jungle, with balls disappearing forever into its depths. It's a real test of a golfer's skill to get out of the cabbage and back onto the fairway.
The term "cabbage" is often used to describe the long grass that borders the fairways, but it can also refer to any area of thick rough, such as the rough around the greens. It's a true challenge for golfers, as it requires a different set of skills to navigate. When your ball is in the cabbage, you might have to use a punch shot to get back onto the fairway, or you might need to use a wedge to get the ball close to the pin.
Some golfers even embrace the challenge of the cabbage and use it to their advantage. They might intentionally play towards the rough to gain a better angle for their next shot or to avoid a hazard. This strategy is known as "laying up" and can be a smart play for more advanced golfers. However, for most players, the cabbage is a place to be feared and avoided at all costs.
So, if you want to sound like a golfer, make sure you know your "cabbage" from your "birdies." It's all part of the rich vocabulary of the game, and understanding these terms will help you navigate the course and talk like a pro. Now you know that "cabbage" is the worst rough, and with that knowledge, you can steer clear of it—both on the course and in your language!
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Ham and egg: when two players pair well
The term "ham and egg" in golf refers to when two players on a team pair well together, with one player excelling and picking up the slack whenever the other is faltering.
Golf, like many sports, is a game of partnerships and teamwork. While individual skill and talent are important, a golfer's success is often dependent on their ability to work well with others. This is where the concept of "ham and egg" comes into play.
When two golfers have a "ham and egg" relationship, they complement each other's strengths and weaknesses seamlessly. For example, if one golfer has a strong drive but struggles with putting, their partner might be an expert putter who can make up for their teammate's shortcomings. This dynamic creates a well-rounded team where each player's skills are leveraged effectively, ultimately leading to better performance and results.
To achieve "ham and egg" synergy, golfers must communicate effectively, be aware of each other's capabilities, and be willing to step up when their partner is facing challenges. This dynamic not only improves the team's overall performance but also fosters a sense of camaraderie and mutual support, which can be invaluable during high-pressure competitions.
Golfers who embody the "ham and egg" spirit understand the importance of balancing individual excellence with teamwork. By working together and leveraging their unique strengths, they create a cohesive unit that is greater than the sum of its parts, ultimately increasing their chances of success on the green. This concept of harmonious collaboration is what makes "ham and egg" such a pivotal aspect of golf strategy and culture.
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Velcro: slow greens where the ball sticks to the grass
So, you want to sound like a golfer? Well, you've come to the right place. Let's talk about "Velcro". No, not the hook-and-loop fastener that keeps your golf glove snugly in place. In the world of golf, "Velcro" is a term used to describe slow greens where the ball seems to stick to the grass. It's like magic, but it's not—it's just the science of friction at play.
You see, the speed of a green is influenced by a variety of factors, including location, construction, microenvironment, and grass species. The management practices, such as mowing height and frequency, grass type, fertilization, and irrigation, also play a crucial role. But when it comes to Velcro greens, the ball's roll is significantly affected by the friction created between the ball and the grass.
Now, imagine yourself on a golf course, standing on a lush green surrounded by manicured lawns. You address the ball with confidence, your putter making perfect contact. But instead of a smooth, seamless roll towards the hole, the ball seems to stick to the grass momentarily, as if it were, well, Velcro. That's the beauty of a slow green—it adds an extra layer of challenge to your game.
Maintaining the delicate balance between a green that is firm enough to promote speed yet soft enough to accept a well-struck shot is an art. Too much thatch or an overly high mowing height can lead to a reduction in speed. On the other hand, a green that is too firm can result in a ball that rolls too fast, making it difficult to make precise putts.
So, the next time you step onto the course, keep an ear out for terms like "Velcro". It might just give you the edge you need to navigate those tricky greens and shoot your best round yet. Now, go forth and conquer those slow greens with confidence and a newfound understanding of golf lingo!
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Goat track: a derogatory term for a golf course in poor condition
If you want to sound like a golfer, you'll need to get to grips with the lingo. Golfers are a chatty bunch, and there's a lot of terminology to learn. You'll want to know your "birdies" from your "bogeys", and your "dog legs" from your "goaty tracks".
Indeed, "goat track" is a term you may hear on the golf course, and it's not a compliment. It's a derogatory term for a golf course that is in poor condition. The term is usually used as an insult, but some golfers use it affectionately to refer to courses that are a little rough around the edges.
The term "goat track" comes from the days before mowing equipment, when golf courses would use goats to "mow" the grass. These courses would often become degraded, with only the basic structures of the intended course remaining.
You might also hear the term "dog track" or "rabbit run", which are similar to "goat track". If you hear "tracking", "right track", or "on the right track", this is a good thing—it means the ball is headed in the direction the golfer intended.
If you want to sound like a golfer, you'll want to avoid calling a course a "goat track", unless of course, you're referring to the old Worth Hills golf course, which has been humorously renamed "Goat Hills".
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Frequently asked questions
Army golf refers to the inconsistent hitting of the ball from one side of the fairway to the other.
"Ham and egg" describes when two players on a team pair well, with one player excelling whenever the other does poorly.
A derogatory term for a golf course in poor condition is "goat track".
A floating green refers to a golf course design where the green is located on a floating platform in a lake, making the fairway a water hazard.
Cabbage refers to the worst part of the rough, also known as "spinach" or "lettuce".








































